The Truth Will Be Revealed
by Bitchery13
Summary: If anyone wants to know why I ship okikagu so hard, I decided to write a fan fiction about it. I also think anyone who just wants to remember those okikagu hints or teasers. I used 'The okikagu wiki translation project' to help me out. I do not own Gintama. Sorachi sensei does. Thank you for reading. Rated T for the language. \( •-• )/
1. That's Not What We're Talking About

**This Fan fiction is something like a script. Oh and thx for reading. \( ^ - ^ )/**

Gintoki walks into the stage and sits down. On one of the three chairs that's on the middle of the stage.

Gintoki: Hello there! Welcome to the, 'The Truth Will Be Revealed'. In this chapter we will be interviewing Souichiro Okita.

Hijikata walks into the stage and sits on the second chair.

Hijikata: Heh hehehehe... Now its my turn to torture that brat. After all that laxatives in my mayo, all that damn mines hidden in my bedroom, and that damn bazooka he always aim at me... I'll definitely torture him! Hahahaa!

Sougo walks into the stage and looks at Gintoki with respect.

Sougo: It's Sougo Danna.

Then he turns his head and looks at Hijikata with disgust.

Sougo: Stop with that gay laugh of yours. It sends shivers down my spine. No, my soul.

Hijikata: Sougo you may not know this but after all this years I've been with you, I know something you don't know.

Sougo: The reason you might know things that I don't even know might be because of my insecure feeling inside.

Hijikata: Don't blame your insecure feelings, we all know you fell in love with the yorozuya's China girl!

Someone: *gasp*

Hijikata points at the screen that shows Kagura picking her nose.

Kagura sees the pic.

Kagura: I wish that they chose a cuter picture of me.

Kagura starts to eat sukonbu

Sougo: Like I would fall for that pig!

Sougo says pig in a voice with disgust.

Kagura hears the word pig. She started to gather all her killing intent to form one huge red aura. Kagura walks into the scene, her red aura surrounded her. Everyone stops and looks at her. Kagura glared at where the location of Okita Sougo is.

Sougo grabs his katana. Kagura starts shooting bullets from her umbrella. Sougo then slashes 5 bullets right down the middle and dodges 2. Kagura starts getting annoyed.

Kagura:Stay still you damn chihuahua.

Sougo: Shut it pig.

They start running towards each other. Gintoki throws a jump magazine at their face aiming for their cheeks. They both got hit. Okita withdrew his sword and Kagura put down her umbrella. They both stopped and kneeled on the ground to receive a hit on their head from Gintoki.

Gintoki: You brats, can't you see we're on stage. Kagura go back stage. We'll call you once it's your turn to get interviewed.

Kagura walks off the stage, and Sougo sits back down on his chair rubbing his bruised cheek and for Kagura, hers already healed.

Gintoki: So Souichiro, we want to talk to you about the sakura viewing season. If I remember correctly this was the part where we all had that hit-and-cover-rock-paper-scissors tournament. Kagura was your opponent. Was that when you fell for her?

Sougo: Like I said, I wouldn't fall for a pig.

Hijikata: Damn it don't lie, every time you see each other you would always stare at each other.

Sougo fires his bazooka. Hijikata dodges it.

Sougo: You idiot. We weren't staring at each other. We were glaring at each other.

Kagura: Yeah! You tell them.

Gintoki: Kagura we could hear you.

Kagura stops screaming.

Hijikata: Someone confiscate his bazooka.

Gintoki: Its fine, but next time Souichiro-kun, don't miss.

Hijikata: You sadistic bastards!

Gintoki starts to grin.

Gintoki: Heh!

Hijikata: Tch...

Sougo: Is that all the proof you have.

Hijikata: Hahaha! I have another evidence. Prove me wrong... If you can.

Sougo: Don't worry Hijikata-san I will.

Hijikata: When that bastard over there lost his memories...

Hijikata points at Gin who was picking his nose.

Hijikata: You told the China girl, " Brats should stay back, or do you want to die? ".

Gintoki: If you don't remember it's somewhere at ep.32 and chapter 52 pg. 15, the second panel.

Hijikata: Getting all concerned now huh?

Sougo laughs. Hijikata starts to sweat.

Sougo: Yes I did remember. I said brats, meaning her _and_ that megane. Don't forget I was just doing my job. _I really didn't want to do it. But it goes with the job. I have to protect innocent citizens._

Hijikata glares at Sougo.

*****Hijikata: You bastard! That was my line.

Gintoki: Ooohhhh.

Gintoki: But let me ask you this question.

Sougo: What is it Danna?

Sougo is starting to get impatient.

Gintoki: Do you really not care about her?

Sougo was silenced for a minute. He then sighed.

Sougo: No Danna I don't.

Hijikata: Hehehe... I got you now! We all know that you saved her more than onc-

Gintoki throws a mayonnaise bottle on the ground. Hijikata leaped out of his chair and grabs it.

Gintoki: We'll save that evidence for another time.

Sougo: Why don't you just tell me now. I have all the time I have, to prove you wrong.

Gintoki: No. We need more than one chapters. If we just get it over with then we won't have much screen time.

Sougo: Hhhmmmmm... I guess your right.

Kagura: Smart as always Gin-chan!

Screams Kagura from backstage.

Gintoki: Thank you, thank you.

Hijikata starts slurping all the mayonnaise substance and sits back down.

Hijikata: You were also by her side at that time. Care to explain.

Sougo: As much as I hate her, I hate you more... I wouldn't want to stay beside a pair of glasses, nor want to stay beside you who smells like dog food.

Shinpachi walks unto the stage.

Shinpachi: Hey what's so bad about a pair of glasses.

Sougo: They break easily.

Shinpachi: What the hell does that have to do with anything?

Sougo: I don't know you tell me.

Shinpachi: You sadi-

Otae walks on stage and grabs Shinpachi.

Otae: Now, now Shin-chan, you don't want to make a scene. After all you were 8th place...

Shinpachi: Sis!

Otae starts chanting.

Shinpachi: Sis?

Otae hits Shinpachi on his head with Hijikata's empty mayonnaise jar. Shinpachi is now in a comma.

Otae: For a pair of glasses 8th place was good enough... But you climbed to 1st place with that friend of yours... ******Ryoma Echizen was it? At the end of the arc.

Yamazaki comes out from behind the stage.

Yamazaki: It's Yamazaki.

Otae: Shut it. Curtain people don't get to go on

stage but close the curtain and opens it.

Kondou: You heard her... Is it time for us to close the curtain?

Otae: Not yet!

Otae walks off the stage and drags Shinpachi's unconscious body.

Gintoki: As you can see we hired the mountain gorilla for security reasons.

Gin received glares and a killing intent from Otae.

Gintoki: *gulp* Well... Uh... As you can see Souichiro-kun, you could have been beside Shinpachi. But you chose your so called 'rival'. Why's that?

Sougo: Its because the gorilla(Sorachi) put me there, that nicotine freak probably got there first.

Gintoki: I see, so it was the gorilla eh?

Sougo: That's right. He forced me to.

Gintoki: Why's that?

Sougo: Probably to make me say, "Brats should stay back, or do you want to die?"

Gintoki: Ever thought there would be a reason for it?

Sougo: Hell no.

Gintoki starts to smirk.

Gintoki: Hahaahha... You think?

Sougo: Yes.

Gintoki: Well then, you said that you were talking about Patsuan and Kagura, but why use the word 'you' at 'or do you want to die?'. Meaning you were talking only to her. *******(But then again the translation might be wrong). If you were talking to both of them, you would most likely say you guys, for you is singular, and the word 'brats' could be talking about Patsuan and Kagura, but using it in this sentence where you used 'you', you are just talking about brats in particular.

Sougo starts grinding his teeth.

Gintoki continues.

Gintoki: If the gorilla had no purpose to put you beside her, then why write a sentence making you sound concerned. It wouldn't make sense if there wasn't for a reason.

Hijikata and okikagu fans: Yeah! You got him there!

Sougo: To be honest I don't know what the gorilla is trying to do.

Hijikata: Giving out hints of course.

Sougo starts glaring at him.

Hijikata: Or.. It might just be your insecure feelings making sure you were on character.

Sougo stops glaring at him.

Sougo: As much as I hate you, I think your right. I'm guessing that I do care about the people I hate.

Gintoki: Wait that's not what we're trying to say.

Sougo: Huh?

Hijikata: You idiot. We were trying to make you admit your feeling for the yorozuya's China girl.

Sougo: Huh? Why would I ever fall for that pig.

Kagura: You damn brat!

Otae: Kagura your too loud.

Kagura: Oh, sorry anego.

Hijikata: Your starting to piss me off. Why can't you just admit what you really feel?

Sougo: But I don't love her nor like her.

Hijikata: You basta-

Gintoki throws a bottle of mayo on the ground and once again Hijikata leaped as if his life depends on it.

Hijikata: What the? It's empty.

Gintoki: We had some stocked up in the vault last night but it seems that you ate them all... Tch...

Hijikata sat back down. He was too depressed to finish his sentence.

Gintoki: It seems to me that Souichiro-kun doesn't realize his own feelings.

Hijikata: Damn tsundeers.

Gintoki: Don't worry we have enough evidence to make him realize his own feelings and maybe Kagura's too.

Sougo looks at them confused.

**Well that's enough for one chapter right? You see I'm trying to make 1 chapter for each evidence I want to make it last longer and I'm writing how I view Sorachi sensei's work. I say this because there are people who view them as rivals and sees the hints or teasers as something else. So for an Okikagu fan I decided to make a fan fiction script like thing to explain of how I view things and how other fans like me might've viewed it too. Thx for reading. And I don't know if any of what I said makes sense cause I need to work on my grammar and English. **

**Notes: **

*** When Hijikata says, **_**'You Bastard! That was my line.' **_**He was talking about at chp. 52 the same panel(second) when Shinpachi asks what's going on, Hijikata replied to him," I don't really want to do this, but it goes with my job, I have to protect normal citizens." Sougo used his line to explain to him why he said that. I used innocent instead of normal cause we all know not even one of them are normal.**

**** Ryoma Echizen is the protagonist of Prince of Tennis which you all might know.**

***** When I said that the translation might be wrong is because there are different sites to read mangas for free but I used so I'm just trying to say that the translation might be different from other people's site.**


	2. You Didn't Save Her Twice

**Merry Christmas my dear readers. I have made a new chapter for this fan fic as your late Christmas present **

It took a while for everything to get settled back. The room is now blood free. Ginpachi then asks for Hijikata and Sougo to come back.

Gintoki sighs.

Gintoki: Now let's begin the second chapter's interrogation.

Hijikata: All right. I call Kagura to the stage.

Otae brought Kagura, and Kyuubei brought in another chair. Otae smiled at Kagura and then leaves with Kyuubei. Kagura and Sougo started a glaring competition.

Kagura: Well if it isn't the punk chihuahua.

Sougo: Well if it isn't the rotten pig.

They got closer smashing their foreheads together.

Gintoki: Enough, enough.

Gin started to wave his hands, signaling them to stop. He then clear his throat,

Gintoki: All right mayo freak, bring out your so called evidence.

Hijikata glared at him. He then cleared his throat and grinned.

Hijikata: I have found some proof...

He pulls out volume 37 of gintama.

Hijikata: Volume 37, chapter 326, page 11, you risked your life to protect China girl from getting abused by me.

Hijikata holds up the manga up high for everyone to see.

Hijikata : Everyone, look at the 5th panel! He dashed out to save a damsel in distress. Look at it!

Sougo stands up and points at the page.

Sougo: All I see is you being a bastard! Hitting a woman who couldn't fight back! You should be ashamed of yourself! You dare call yourself a member of the shinsengumi. *sob* What will Kondou say? *sob*

The crowd started to gossip to one another.

Hijikata looks stunned. He cleared his throat a second time.

Hijikata: Anyways back to the topic.

Sougo: Don't avoid the original topic.

Hijikata: The original topic was about you saving China girl!

Sougo: Well then, continue.

He had his poker face on. Hijikata didn't know if he was just messing with him or he's just stupid. Maybe both.

Hijikata: As I was saying, you saved her-

Sougo: Uh huh.

Hijikata: If I remember correctly, almost every manga the boy saves the girl he likes-

Sougo: Almost? Pfffftt... If you want better proof, there shouldn't be 'almost' but 'every'.

Gintoki: He has a point.

Hijikata stands up, and grabs Sougo's collar.

Hijikata: Damn it! Just let me talk you damn brat!

Sougo: All right, all right. Not only do you attack defenseless warts, but you have anger issues too. Sheesh how annoying.

Sougo turns his head to the audience.

Sougo: Don't you agree?

Hijikata let's go of his collar.

Hijikata: What do you mean anger issues? I may be the straight man of the shinsengumi but that doesn't mean I have anger issues. Right?

He turns and faces the crowd.

Shinpachi walks into the stage.

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san, now that I think about it... We're both the straight man of the show. But why?

He goes down on his knees.

Shinpachi: But why are you more popular than me!? *sob* *sob* What is it you have that I don't!? *sniff* I appear more than you! So wwwwwhhhhhyyyyyyy!?

Otae also walks on stage with Kyuubei and Kondou.

Otae: Shin-chan... It's not what he has... Its what he doesn't have...

She walks closer to him and her arms around him.

Otae: Unlike you... He doesn't wear glasses. That's why he's more popular than you.

They all smiled at him.

Shinpachi: Are you telling me to get rid of them.

Otae: That's right!

She points at him.

Otae: You need to get rid of that glasses hanger.

Shinpachi: So... In truth... The reason I'm not popular... Is because-

Kagura: Your a bitch, that's why.

Shinpachi turns around and looks at Kagura. Kagura looks at him with sympathy.

Shinpachi runs away from the stage crying.

Otae: Well someone had to tell him.

She gave Kagura a proud look.

Yamazaki: Why!? Why would a bitch like him beat me. Not only that... He remained 8th place for 3 years in a row. Why... What have I done to make the God's hate me!?

Screamed Yamazaki from behind the curtains.

Yamazaki: Could It be... That.. That ... My plainess was the reason.

Sougo: No. It's because, you too are a bitch.

Yamazaki stopped talking but he's cries and sobs could be heard from behind the curtain.

Hijikata takes out his mayo lighter and lights his cigarette. He sighed before he put it in his mouth.

Hijikata: I'm glad that someone had to say it.

Someone from the crowd raised his hand.

Person: Aren't you guys just mad at them... You know... For placing first at the end of the arc.

Person 2: Thats right.

Person 3: *****The truth hurts but the truth helps.

Kagura: The truth hurts but the truth helps eh? Well then screw it.

Sougo: That's right. I'm not an M but an S. The truth should just go to hell.

Person 3: But, but it helps.

Sougo and Kagura: Ehh? But it hurts.

Gin smacks their heads.

Gintoki: What you guys need is to learn the truth about how you really feel about each other.

Kagura and Sougo looks at each other.

Kagura: Sou-kun, I think he's right.

Everyone stopped what they were doing. They looked at Kagura.

Sougo: And what is it Bakagura-chan.

Kagura looks at him.

Kagura: You are one messed up mother fucker and I hope you know that!

Sougo smiled.

Sougo: That's the spirit! Now since you insulted me, I have the right to insult you back.

He grabbed the table and throwed it at her.

Sougo: Your a pig and you pigs should just eat and be eaten.

Kagura: Explain it in words that I can understand.

She catches the table and throws it back at him.

Sougo dodges it and the table crushed. He run and grabbed Shinpachi. He throws him at her. Kagura dodges him.

Otae: Shinpachi!

Glasses hanger: Umm.. Sis, that's not me.

Otae: You should've used this instead.

She grabs the glasses hanger and throwed it at Kagura.

Kagura gave her a thumbs up.

Kagura: Thx Anego.

Sougo: Tch...

He pulls out his sword.

Glasses hanger: Wait... Wait... That's a real sword. He'll cut me to pieces.

Kagura: Good thing your just a glasses hanger. Oh thank goodness Shinpachi is ok.

She turns her head and looks at a glasses. The glasses was chipped a bit.

Glasses hanger: *sob* *sob* Why me? *sniff*

The battle begun with their battle cries. Everything was throwed around. The audience were used as weapons. No matter how you think about it... All the gintama cast observed them.

Otae: Are they having fun or not?

Kondou: My dear, I can't tell.

Otae kicked his stomach.

Otae: Who is this 'dear' you speak off?

Kondou: *wheeze*

Kyuubei thought, " This isn't fair."

Kyuubei: Otae, I shall become your humble knight. To protect you from any harm.

She goes down on her knees and took her hand.

Otae: My, my, Kyuubei.

Otae blushed.

Kondou: I too will be your humble knight.

He goes down on his knees and grabs her hand.

Otae looks at him. Her face was red from... Anger.

She grabbed him and threw him around.

Kyuubei: My lady, stop.

She pulls out her sword.

Kyuubei: I shall be the one to protect you.

Kyuubei runs towards Kondou. She jumps up and slashes him.

Hijikata: Sorry but I won't let you hurt this man. Him being beaten by a girl will not tolerate with his reputation.

Hijikata stopped her attack with his very own sword.

Kyuubei: Hahaha! His reputation was long gone when he laid a hand on my lady.

Otae: Oh kyuubei. *smiles*

The fight between Hijikata-san and Kyuubei has begun.

Gin looks around. He got his coat and zipped it up.

Kagura: Hey Gin, where you going?

Sougo: CHINA, GO TO HELL!

Sougo runs towards her and punches her face.

Kagura grabbed his hand and throwed him away. She then grabs a sharp piece of metal and throwed it at him. Slashing his shoulder. Blood started to run down.

Sougo: No fair, China.

He starts to rub his head. He noticed the wound on his shoulder.

Kagura: Huh? What's no fair?

She stared at his wound.

Kagura: Oh... I didn't mean to... BUT THEN AGAIN I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! HAHAHAHA SERVES YOU RIGHT!

Sougo: You bitch!

He raced towards her and jumped. She decided to kick him but he grabbed her leg and sweep the other foot making her fall.

She's on the ground. He decided it was his turn to beat her up.

Sougo: It's your turn to suffer.

He smiled sadistically.

Kagura started to panic. 'Gin told me not to do this to any guys but...' She thought.

Kagura: Kekekeke. My turn to suffer huh? Well then meet your doom. PRECIOUS JEWEL CRUSHER!

Kagura kneed his dick as hard as she could. For someone who can break someone's bone with a swift kick, the pain was unbearable.

Gin who was watching what was happening screamed.

Gintoki: Kagura! Nooooo!

He ran to Sougo's side. He was spitting blood everywhere.

Kagura: What's the big deal? All I did was crush his precious jewel. He deserved it.

Gintoki: A man's dick isn't there for pleasure. It's there to give his precious hire to his wife.

Kagura: Who cares? No one would be that sadist's wife.

Gintoki looks at her. 'How clueless is she? She'll be the one to blame if they don't have a child.' He thought.

Gintoki: Let's just go.

Kagura: Where?

Gintoki: We're going shopping for some food and uh...

He looks at Sougo.

Gintoki: Maybe some pain killers for him too.

Kagura: Hmmph... Just let him suffer with the pain.

Gintoki: And you call him a sadist.

They grabbed their coat and Gintoki put Sougo around his shoulder. They went out the door, leaving the lunatics behind.

Kagura: Are we buying the convenient store bento again. They taste terrible.

Gintoki: *sigh* You can buy some snacks and buy some bentos enough for all the gintama cast.

Kagura: Aye sir.

She happily run away down to her favorite store.

Gintoki: I'd like to have a talk with you.

Sougo: ...

Gintoki: I know your awake!

Sougo: What is it this time, Danna?

Gintoki: So you were awake. Anyways...

He sat down on a bench and lets go, off Sougo making him sit up.

Gintoki: As you can see, the interrogation will go on without interruptions.

Sougo: Go ahead.

He sank back down. Too lazy to even sit.

Gintoki: I want to talk to you about Yagyu arc.

Sougo: Yeah?

Gintoki: When Kagura was about to get hit by Minamito, you saved her saying, " That girl is _mine_... To beat up"

He paused at after the word 'mine' making sure he heard it.

Sougo: That's right. I'm the only one allowed to beat that Lil' pig.

Sougo looks at Gintoki.

He was reading Volume 14 of Gintama.

Gintoki continued.

Gintoki: After saving her, you and Minamito had a fight. To beat him up like that, and turning into a hardcore sadist for the first time in the series, you must have been protecting something you really love.

Sougo: Of course. I have to protect our reputation.

Gintoki: Nothing else?

Sougo: No. Why?

Gintoki: I was sure you were protecting something else. To abondon your hardcore sadist mode to help Kagura in chapter 114 pages 10-12.

Sougo smirked.

Sougo: More like hurt her even more.

Gintoki: Well sadists love to see their love ones to be hurt by their own hands only.

Sougo: You say something?

Gintoki: Nothing.

Sougo: Well she broke my bone, guess that was fair.

Gintoki: You even teamed up with her.

Sougo smiled.

Sougo: It wasn't like I wanted to. But at that situation, I had no choice.

They were silent for a minute.

Gintoki: Oh looks like she's back.

He pointed at Kagura who was smiling. She was running down the road.

Sougo: Finally.

Gintoki: Oi! Kagura! What took you so long?!

Kagura: Sorry Gin-chan, but I had a fight with some neighborhood boys.

Gintoki: Don't cause too much trouble.

He hit her head.

Kagura: Oww. But I got a lot of money from them.

Sougo: I'm gonna arrest you for that you know.

Kagura: Oh shut up.

Gintoki: Let's just go. Its already late at night.

They looked up in the sky. There was stars and the lanterns were lit up. They look at the lake that reflected the moon.

Kagura: Gin-chan, it looks amazing doesn't it.

Gintoki: Yeah, Yeah.

He started to pick his nose.

Sougo: Did you got the pain killers?

Kagura grabbed a small bottle from the bag and throwed it at him.

Kagura: I didn't get it because I wanted to.

Sougo: I know.

Kagura: They just happened to have some.

Sougo: Uh-huh.

Kagura: Now thank me you useless bum.

Sougo: I'll thank you if you go down on your knees and beg for me to thank you.

Kagura: Sadist, don't give me that crap.

Gintoki was behind them. Watching them (as usual) fight.

Gintoki: It said that you saved her 2 times. But it seems that you saved her more than that. Those moments might have been over looked though.

They both turned around.

Kagura: Gin-chan, did you say something?

Sougo looks at him with his usual poker face.

Gintoki: I sure did. Kagura, your at the level where I'd notify the police.

Kagura kicks his face.

Kagura: What the hell does that mean?

Sougo: It means he'd rather hand you to the police. Probably because you stole from those pathetic 'neighborhood boys'.

Kagura: It's not my fault they tried to pick a fight with me late at night.

Gintoki: Enough let's just go.

The three walked down the path and back to the station.

**Stay tune for the next chapter. **

**Note:**

*** **_**'The Truth Hurts but The Truth Helps' **_**was a quote created by my friends. **


	3. Chapter 35

**After they left:**

Shinpachi: Hey guys!

Everyone looks at him.

Shinpachi: They left!

After hearing that, they huddled in the middle of the stage. Good thing all the audience left. Thank you ambulance(yes all the audience got screwed up by them).

Otae: What do we do then? How do we make them realize what they feel?

She thought to herself.

Otae leans on the wall. "All right let's have a meeting." Shinpachi screamed. "Hey! You know why their relationship between them didn't grow?". Everyone looked at the direction of where the voice was coming from. It was Sa-chan. "How can someone like you know?" Tsukuyo pointed at her. "All you know is to play S&M and **** with **** your damn ****." Sa-chan smiled. "That's exactly what they need to do. As we all know Sougo is the prince of the sadist planet. They need to have sex!" She received a punch from Otae. "Who said sex needs to be part of this?" A vein pop out of her forehead. "Sis is right!" Says Shinpachi. "Of course she is. Otae is always right!" Screamed the gorilla at the top of his lungs making everyone look at him. "But look at this!" She grabs a book. See here and here they **** and **** each other! And here Kagura **** Sougo's *****. Also they-" "Enough!" Screams Shinpachi! He grabs a pail and vomits. "Those aren't real works of the gorilla but by okikagu fans." He vomits some more. "Shin-chan is right! Kagura would never **** Sougo's *****. She's too fragile to even touch one!"

**15 minutes later...**

"Hmmm... The okikagu fans sure likes them to have sex." Says Shinpachi as he goes trough the books and online fanfics made by fans. "Well like they would do anything that disgusting. Maybe Sougo but not the yorozuya's China girl." Said Hijikata-san as he imagines the possibility that they would ever **** and ****. Then he shivered. "But if they really did have sex wouldn't it be something like this." says Katsura. Shinpachi pulled his ears down and whispered. "Uhhhh... Katsura-san the shinsengumi are here. You know that right?"

_Don't worry Shinpachi... For I the author of this fanfic has decided to let the shinsengumi let him go for now. _

Hijikata: You'll give me mayo once this fanfic ends right.

_As long as you let Katsura off the hook until this fanfic ends._

Kondou: I'll get Otae right?

_Don't worry about that. There's a zoo that has a gorilla named Otae right here in Japan._

Kondou: Wait I wanted Otae. The human gorilla.

_Sorry but that is too great for my power._

Otae: That's right bitch! Bow down!

_I..I... I have to go!_

Katsura raised his hand. "As I was saying... If they did have sex it would be like this... I made a play for it. I will be Kagura and Elizabeth will be Sougo." "Sis. I don't think this is a good idea." Says Shinpachi and Otae gave him a reassuring smile.

Katsura started putting hair ornaments on his head. The exact same ones as Kagura's. Elizabeth put on a wig that matches Sougo's hair. Kondou brought a bed. "Might as well see what they're up to." He said. "Me and the girls will search for them." Said Otae. Sa-chan, Tsukuyo, Otae and Kyuubei left.

Katsura and Elizabeth hopped on the bed. "Now Elizabeth, we'll show them the amazing power of staying on character."

**While that was happening:**

"Hey! Give me back my sukonbu, you scum!", " You mean this junk?"

Otae looked at where the familiar voices were coming from. "Get down. Its them!" They all hide behind the bushes. They made a small hole by separating the leaves and branches.

"You bastards made me spill my strawberry milk!" Gintoki was screaming at them. "Oh sorry Gin-chan. I didn't see you. It was that sadist's fault. He pushed me." She pointed at Sougo. "What are you talking about? I gave you back your junk and you started jumping up and down hitting Danna."

"I felt like this happened before... That's right. It happened at the beetle episode. But a different situation." Said Otae."Déjà vu. Fans that write fanfics usually takes pieces of the authors work and put them into theirs and change a bit of the scene, also known as copyright but since they give credit to the authors, they get off the hook." Explained Kyuubei. They all nodded in agreement.

"You can't blame me! I was just happy! And who's fault was it that I got my precious snack back!?"

"Here it comes. Gin's gonna grab his slipper and hit her on her head... Ohhh how I wish it was me. Then he can **** each other and ****." Tsukuyo throws a kunai at her head. "Keep your stupid fantasies to yourself you perverted bitch."

Gintoki just looks at them. Kagura waited to get hit and scolded. Sougo did too. But he just stared at them. "One day you'll grow up in a white gown saying yes to that sadist. *sniff." Kagura punches him. "Like I'll say yes to that brat." Kagura started kicking him. "Owww... Not on my jewels." He screamed in pain. The pain that only guys would understand. "Danna, like I would ask her to be my bride. I could feel my stomach hurt just by hearing that. And my d*** hurts thanks to your screams."

"I think we should go, before we get spotted." Otae got up and led the way to the man on the ground holding his crotch and to the couple fighting. Kagura turned her head towards them. "Oh, anego, Tsukki, Sa-chan, Kyuubei-san!" Kagura screams as she hugs Otae. "We came to pick you up." She said. "Gintoki, I came here for S&M. Hit me on my you-know-what." She run straight towards him and jumps. "Sougo." He called out his name. "Don't worry Danna. I got this." He reaches out of his pocket and pulled out a metal leash. He throwed it at her direction instantly capturing her neck. "Wow your a natural." Sa-chan praised him. "Shut up pig." He pulled on the chains making her crawl on the ground.

And just like that they all went back to the station.

**Meanwhile at the station:**

"BWAHAHAH!" Their laughter could be heard behind those closed doors. "Do the part where the China girl punches Sougo and screams, 'Ouch that hurts you idiot!' Then blushes." Laughed Hijikata.

"All right. Let's do it Elizabeth." Says Katsura. Elizabeth pulls up a sign that says, 'Let's do our best Katsura-san.' "We'll be the sound effects." Said the shinsengumi. "I'll narrate Elizabeth's part since he can't speak." Said Yamazaki. "Good luck Yamazaki-san." Said Shinpachi giving him a thumbs up. And so the play begins in 3...2...1..

Katsura was wearing a sailor uniform. He also wore swrily glasses, and hair ornaments that match Kagura's. Elizabeth comes with his wig and a uniform. "My hearth hurts just seeing you!" Elizabeth screams. His voiced high pitched. "Whaaaa?" Yamazaki tried to deepen his voice which failed miserably. "Sou-kun you baka!" He hits him and runs away. Her... His face was red. The rest who were watching was laughing hard. They took pics of the cosplayers.

Kagura pulled on Gin's sleeves."Hey, Gin-chan. No ones opening the door." Gintoki pushed Kagura aside and tried to open it himself. Its locked. He banged on the door. No one answered. "That's weird. I left Shinpachi on control." Says Otae. "Sigh. This is what happens when you leave a pair of glasses in control." Sa-chan said. Shivering they waited. Then they heard laughter. "YOU BASTARDS! OPEN UP THE DAMN DOOR! CAN'T YOU SEE WERE FREEZING!" Kagura started screaming. "Shut up! Your making my ear drums hurt." Says Sougo. "What did you say, you punk chihuahua!?" And with that an argument was formed. "I can't take this anymore. I'm breaking the door." Kyuubei cut the door open.

**3...2...1...**

Everyone stopped what they were doing. Katsura was on the bed with a bird thing on him. His face was red and he was gasping for air. The bird thing was blushing. The group of shinsengumi started taking pictures. "I'm seeing a bird raping a human guy that might actually be a girl or transgender. Are you guys seeing that too?" Gin asks the group but they were on the ground vomiting. Then Okita and Kagura came in. And saw something they would never forget. Katsura wearing her hair ornaments was on the bed gasping for air. The bird thing called Elizabeth was on him blushing, and on his head was a wig that matches Sougo's hair. Then the rest were taking pictures. They all turned towards the couple and the vomiting freaks. "It's not what you think! WE'RE JUST DOING A PLAY!" Screamed Shinpachi. On his hand was a camera. "Thats right! We we're doing a play of what would actually happens when you guys have sex." Explained Katsura. The shinsengumi including the others that was part of the so-called play started beating him up.

"Is that so?" Kagura asked with a smile. "Didn't know you guys were pervs. But continue on with the show." Continued Sougo. "But one more thing..." Their voices started to synchronize, their aura was coming out. Red and blue.

"If I were you guys... Urrrgghhh...I ...would run." Gintoki warned them while vomiting. The air is now thick. And their aura fused together making a dark purple. "Everyone run!" Shinpachi screams grabbing the nearest person on the arm and made a run for it.

"YOU PERVERTS! COME BACK HERE!" Screams Kagura. "We'll teach you a thing or two.'" Says Sougo. His voice didn't have any emotions. But you could hear excitement. That he finally got a reason to slash everyone there.


End file.
